Christmas Reflection
Today is the first Christmas I have had to get through without my sweet John. While we didn’t have a lifetime together, it feels like my soul has always known him. I know that we only had 4 Christmases together but the first 2 we didn’t get to spend the actual day together because of my family situation at the time. But, we did have OUR Christmas time together those 2 years. The last 2 years we were in our home, happy, in love, and we celebrated in our way. Quiet, loving, and affectionate. That’s really how we lived every day together. Last Christmas was such a lovely day and in such stark contrast to this year. I am, by choice, sitting here alone in our living room. I’m listening to Christmas music and getting ready to take the tree down. I am ready for this holiday to be over. It is almost like I need to check these events off my list of “firsts.” All the things that used to be so joyful that are now so hard to get through without him. As time goes on the tears don’t last as